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Events | Administration | Members | Records | Previous SeasonsWeekly Reports: Season 2015–16 Your report fast track . . . End of Year Awards
Cold beers, unburnt sausages, succulent onions, fresh bread rolls and copious sauces were woofed down and then came the official proceedings hosted by the venerable Ronald Allardice Esq. There were many bouquets, including a BIG thank you to the Walkers for there undying hospitality; Dalbs for the entertaining website reports (not sure whether they were the exact words so some modest embellishment is in order); Macca for scrupulously prepared financials (aided by cub financiers Jacko and Walks) and for meeting us at the 18th on many occasions; the globetrotting Prez (it was in my notes); Tom for his diligent Away Captaincy; and Steve for his much valued major sponsorship. Season highlights included:
Then came the presentations . . . Major Trophies
Season Awards
Tuesday, April 5, 2016 The ultimate fixture was most notable for the much awaited return of that celebrity golfer fresh from a stint in his latest venture "Macca Does Dunsborough" which proved to be a hit (and quite a few misses, apparently). For a 4BBB event, 7 players wasn't quite the magic number but Jaunty Jacko, our reliable problem solver, immediately installed MDD as the "Swinger". Thus four pairs headed to Lake – CJ/GM, GW/GM, GS/RD and RA/DS. It seemed the imperfect pairing – Squancey (3rd last week) and Dalbs (NAGA). Fortunately the former's form was holding, though his first two holes could be put down to "just warming up" with Dalbs filling in the scoring gap. From then on, the Mighty Muscovite ran mostly hot with Dalbs contributing solid points (a 4-pointer on one occasion) when his nibs took a scoring break. Consistent, persistent scoring saw the total climb to a winning 45 points and Squancey claim his maiden Handicapper's Trophy after doing most of the heavy lifting. The Swinger and his two cohorts Jacko and Walks fought tooth and nail for supremacy, though Swinger reportedly tired toward the end of the round due to his Dunsborough excesses. Nevertheless, as the final result shows, it was all in vain as he squared with himself whichever way you looked at both his pairings – 40 points apiece. Jacko scored one of two birdies on the day, a terrific effort on the par 4, 3rd (Index 5) on Island. Ronzo and Scobes couldn't quite click. Scobes was out of sorts and somewhat out of shots and Ronzo was running hot and cold, his hottest reserved for two verrryyy long putts, one of which earned him a birdie on the par 5, Island 5th.
Six hungry tums then tore off after Walks to put up the feet after a hard drive and toast the end of another super GBW season. Results:
Tuesday, March
29, 2016 The weather gods smiled on our last Hamersley outing – a still, crisp morning that drew out a few dusty GBW vests. Five players gathered, the workers selected themselves and there were some walloping good drives from most, the only outlier giving an early hint of his NAGA form. Ronzo was a Tale of Two Shitees – on fire at the start and sh_t hot (only 3 strokes over par after 5 holes) to finish sh_thouse over the closing holes (8 strokes over). But with the hot bit and the hot handicap, he was a Monty and so it proved in a vital round for the end-of-season statistics. Jaunty Jacko had yet another of those carefully planned and methodically executed rounds in which he parred the par 3s and double bogied the two hardest holes just to prove the indexing was correct. The model of consistency (have I said that before?) in 2015-16. Another male model, Squance the Seducer, almost had her wrapped up with some lusty hitting except for two holes where she wriggled out for triples and he finished a bit deflated. It was Mandurah all over again for Walks and Dalbs with no Sam as a NAGA buffer. Walks pounded some great drives as you do but couldn't finish it off, double bogeys flowing freely from the shorter sticks. Dalbs started like a golfer, only 5 shots over after 5 and having parred both par 5's. And then the rot set in, starting with an 11 on the 15th, a 'to-be-sure' winner in the NAGA stakes. Two flat whites in mugs, a double shot cappuccino in a cup, an Anzac biscuit not shared, some friendly banter and gushing tears from Pat and 2015-16 at Hamersley was at an end . . . until . . . Results:
Tuesday, March
22, 2016
With the footy season upon us, Walks got into the spirit: 1st Q: Kicking with the wind – careered away from the first bounce with birdie/par and 9 pts. 2nd Q: Into the breeze – 2 triples and 1 point (coach considering change of tactics). 3rd Q: Came out rested, wind again at his back – bogey/par and 6 pts. 4th Q: Fitness suspect, wind in the face – bogey/triple and 3 points. Coach not happy, insists on extra time, regrets decision – triple and 1 point. But, with follow-up massage (coffee) amid the aroma of Goanna oil, Wonder Walks pronounces himself winner of the match after a brilliant 2 quarter effort. CONGRATULATIONS Phantom – two in a row! Stampeding Steve was fired up for a big round, big win and promotion to single figure handicap. But then, in stepped those sandy greens which robbed him of just such a score despite exhaustive attempts at jumping up and down to tempt the ball to drop. An unplayable on the 15th didn't help either . . . but he's back on the podium and just in time, with work and travel ending his season. You-Know-Who was pottering along, passing more time going bush than usual, but ticking a score over on every hole (as usual). You-Don't-Know-Who started modestly, a modicum of luck keeping him mostly on the fairways and helping him to 11 pts after 5 holes. Early ripe, early rotten as the ominous short game took hold and points became scarce - but at least tied with Mr Consistent but couldn't withstand the count back. Ronzo? Just needed a toga to complete the outfit! Not only forgot the shoes but also his phone; how to drive the buggy, crashing it into a baby blackboy and other trees along the way; and how to swing the golf club as he double and triple bogied his way around the course gathering a blister on his second toe as he went. Unbelievable . . . as was Squancey's day after a cracking good drive off the first. Couldn't find the fairway after that if he tried but did show great skill extricating himself from between two black boys on the homeward hole. Results:
Tuesday, March
15, 2016 Good fortune favoured the 10th tee lovers. With the first nine shut for course maintenance, all paths led to the 10th where GBW were all-but head of the cue. With Treasurer Jacko back sprinting to the head of the paying cue, and Squancey sprinting in after untangling himself from heavy freeway traffic, it was not long before the three workers were teeing up and firing off an impressive volley of power drives.
Fresh from a great social Mandurah time mixed with some unsociable golf, Home Captain Walks was a relaxed man. As he powered his way around the course today, it was somewhat vintage Walks. That irksome short game deflowered some grand approach drives and irons but the signs of a turnaround in both form and handicap (phew!) are evident. CONGRATULATIONS PHANTOM on breaking the duck! Squancey was under the pump. Delayed by freeway traffic, he barely had time to adjust the eyebrow liner before he was on the tee and clubbing it down the middle. What followed was almost the round of the year (5 over on his best 7 holes) . . . except for the two wipes! Grrrr . . . but that's golf. And, of course, Jacko was doing what he insists on persistently doing consistently (I think) – steadily accumulating points on every hole. Even the best of his bad shots weren't bad (I think). Those two 323 game veterans – Dalbs and Ronzo – came from different directions. Dalbs was Jacko's antithesis – Mr Inconsistent – intertwining golf shots with mug shots. Saved at the post by an 8 point finish (half his score) over the closing 3 holes. Ronzo was a man obsessed. All of his drives were outstanding and his finishing touch quite superb (he told me himself) UNTIL the 15th hole. To that point, he was only 4 over the card and had 12 points. Then went from "Champion to Ar___ole" (he told me himself) – a game in two halves . . . Results:
Tuesday, March
1, 2016 It was a fixture originally lost in the shadow of "Not the Mornington Masters" planning. But, as history will show, it morphed into a preparation round for the inaugural Mandurah Masters (although we did used handicaps) for at least four participants. Stand-in Treasurer Squance did a fine job of fleecing us as did some ring-ins who had arrived earlier and usurped the 10th tee. AND Squancey had finally done it – reached 100 games with GBWGC!!
The Mighty Mo looked ominous right from the start (it's the mo that does it) and plastered his drive and himself straight down the middle. And he generally kept it up and reportedly only had 11 putts in a performance that recent form showed was inevitable, Great win Scobes . . . but unfortunately unable to join us at Mandurah. Ronzo had a mixed bag early – 2 wipes in the first 5 holes, 7 points and a buggy flip. But he steadied (a bit) squeezing maximum points out of his 2-stroke holes (almost playing on 2-stroke fuel) to cobble 10 points coming home. Squancey was the master of deception. Just when he looked like playing a blistering round, he'd throw in a hand grenade (a 3-over), settle again and finish with two more hand grenades . . . but still finished with 16 points. Dalbs again had a slow start (3 points in three holes), his scrubby hitting a cause for Mandurah Masters concern despite a mid-round recovery. Walks is still out of sorts and gnashing his teeth (if you can imagine the placid man doing that) over most aspects of his game. Clipped a beautiful chip shot close up on the par 3 12th – unfortunately he'd aimed at the NTP marker. And Steve had one of those days where not too many lusty hits went straight. Powered his way home to a second NAGA and slipped back into a double figure handicap . . . again! Results:
Tuesday, February
23, 2016 Scobes reports that . . . It was what could be described as “a perfect morning for golf” – a cool touch to the air, no breeze and the course in fine condition. Ron took on the roles of Pres, Secretary, Treasurer and Handicapper by rattling off a series of decrees about who should do what and when and we were ready to go (that is after someone brought Walks back from whatever faraway place his mind had wandered to). The three Ss (attempted) to hit the fairway first, with all three getting off to a reasonable start. After 5 holes it was Steve +3, Squancey +3 and Scobes +2. From that point on it all became very tense and Steve and Scobes failed to improve on their scores while Squancey went backwards to finish all square. Steve hit some monster drives, a couple of which made the fairway, while the other two were mostly steady without any great heroics. In group 2, Walks started with a par then birdied the par 5 14th to be +1 after 5 holes. However the now familiar wheel malfunction struck again, with all wheels coming off at that point and nothing but minus on the card from then on. Entertainment value was high though, with record numbers of tree strikes and a chip-in for his abovementioned birdie. While all this was going on, Ronzo was playing a significant supporting role in the group’s attempt to set a tree hitting record. Ron’s big drives were missing and so where most of his putts. Not a day to remember. Playing his usual unassuming part was Robin, deftly getting to +2 after 4 holes with some precise golf. Precision then turned to derision as he stumbled to the finish line, a belated plus on 18 snaring him a countback spot in third place. It appears that the group either lacks stamina or suffers greatly from end of round nerves. Only two players (Steve and Scobes) managed to play the last 4 holes in regulation; all others where over the card for a total of 11 over between 4 players! Also, congratulations to Ron for being the first player this reason to record a par or birdie on each of the nine holes.
Results:
Tuesday, February
16, 2016 Later starting times found an early Match Play finalist Tom doing deep breathing and a spot of meditation before seven other stragglers arrived on a windy, warm summer's morning. Yep, it was the Match Play Final, the other finalist Steve roaring confidently into the car park and burning rubber into the parking bay. What a contrast . . . it promised to be a fascinating encounter. Jacko showed similar confidence, burning rubber into the pro shop to pay ahead of the earlier arrivals and Tom struck the first blow . . . MATCH PLAY FINAL. Cool Hand Tom unloaded first, and it was one of 7 impressive drives as Stun Gun Steve also hammered one long but not as consistently on the 9-hole trip. Steve had the better of the pitch approaches and immediately went 1-up in what was to prove the basis of a deja vu moment. It was blow-for-blow until the 13th where again Stun Gun chipped one up close to sink the putt for a 5 with Cool Tom also 5 with an extra handicap stroke but a 3+ metre putt. Having calmly potted it and halved the hole, Tom confidently belted another down the middle of 14th as Steve went walkabout crashing into multiple trees and finally conceding. The 15th was a mirror image as this time Tom went bush and Stun Gun was again 1-up. After squaring 16, Tom had an extra stroke on the last two holes and immediately shot the lights out and squared it up for the last hole showdown. And so it came to that deja vu as Steve again pitched onto the green and Tom's fell short. It was enough for Steve to win the hole by 2 shots and the Final. CONGRATULATIONS STEVE and commiserations Tom on what was a never-say-die and memorable game.
Tuesday, February
9, 2016 The weather was shaping up HOT and someone either had to also run VERY HOT or the moustachoid one would run away with it . . . well amble at least. Scobes was the only absentee but his absence morphed into a Macca at the 18th. All semblance of tee-off order based on first round results disappeared as the workers (Steve and Squancey) chaperoned by the Phantom moved in and stole the tee. And it quickly became apparent that at least two of them were intent on trying to steal the show. While Squancey wasn't playing all that badly, it was those one or two "moggies" along the way that kept proving costly. Or was he spellbound by Steve's shock-and-awe campaign?
Ronzo was his usual calm, laconic, unassuming self. With somewhat of a stranglehold on the title, he was all concentration and a few AAAAGGHHHHs. Pulled his opening drive left (AGH No.1) but, of course, it bounced back into the light rough from whence he parred (of course). Flew his opening drive right (AGH No. 2) and after some army golf settled for a double. Remained cool until AGH No.3 – a duffy triple at the 15th before sailing home with bogeys for a fabulously consistent two nines – net 32 last week and net 33 today. Never gave the field a chance! CONGRATULATIONS RONZO on your second Club Championship title. Jacko and Little Master had contrasting styles, Mr. Consistent sending a few long shots awry (with consistency) which caused an unusual 3 triples, while LM pottered along keen to keep the ball on the short green stuff and almost succeeded except for three of the last four par 4's which gobbled up 9 of his handicap strokes. And, as reported last week, Dalbs flailed aimlessly early. Only trouble is he flailed aimlessly in the middle and aimlessly at the end but, as the unusual way these CC's went, still managed to settle into third.
Round Results: Club Championship – Final Results
Tuesday, February
2, 2016 "Oh what a beautiful morning; Oh what a beautiful day; I've got that beautiful feeling; Everythings going my way". You could almost hear the lilting refrain issuing from Walks. After all, he hasn't had a win yet . . . and he's been the Club Champ over the last two years. It was his time! The ritual of the 1st tee veterans teeing off was dispensed with, but not before Fashion Police Constable Scobes observed of one of their dubiously attired number in his vintage style "Obviously his wife's not up yet – she wouldn't have let him leave home looking like that!" And, in a hangover from last week, several boys were busy re-indexing the first nine holes until that light bulb moment: "But it's stroke!"
I can't recall a Club Championship where three-quarters of the field were net 40 or more after the first round. Steve burst out with par and rocketed home but couldn't keep out of the trees (Nooooo!) in between, going 12 over for just 5 holes. Jacko was generally Jacko but he outlandishly used up his handicap on just three holes – the two par 5's and the second par 3, a hole not helped when Dalbs located his wobbly drive only to realise later that it was the wrong ball! Scobes . . . (I'm trying hard to find superlatives here) . . . did manage to par the two par 3's and only 14 putts helped, but it wasn't his day. Even a couple of his tree ricochets were anti-"Little" bounces, heading off to adjacent fairways. The Little Master wasn't jetlagged but was trying hard, always looking for that "wet sail" moment but continued to hit submerged reefs. Squancey, prepared for battle in his fatigues, invoked "the beast" (Revelation 13: 17–18) opening with '666' - the Devils number. Another three '6s' and three '5s' at least made for consistent scoring. My raging championship hot pick, Walks, trudged off the 9th a raging hot pink after the frustration of an indifferent round particularly marred by an 11-over 3 hole run early. Leaderboard at Halfway:
Results to be offically recorded:
Wednesday, January
27, 2016 A different twist for the running of the 6th Joondalup Classic saw the club move away from the extra expense of playing on the public holiday. All wassail the Walks, who poked golf discount vouchers under the pro's nose and resisted temptations offered up as an alternative. And as a final coup, Moneybags Macca was there to present a $20 subsidy. It was a superb economic start to the day – the original $110 fee cut progressively to $99 (course condition) then $89 (vouchers) then $69 (subsidy) with carts to boot on a day with a maximum field and promising warm humid conditions. And the Aussie Day flavour wasn't lost on Ronzo . . .
There's not much one can add to the praise already heaped on this course. Though Quarry had been scarified, it was hardly a factor compared with our ability to attack the (often thick) bush, slash around in the sand, bounce off limestone and grapple with testing but true greens on a course that appeals to the eye and challenges each persons strengths and weaknesses on the day. Squancey and the Little (jetlagged) Master championed the day but by different means, both blasting out of the blocks with 9 and 10 points (respectively) on the opening 3 Quarry holes. Squancey drifted over the next nine but finished in a flurry, carving out an impressive 14 points over the final 6 Lake holes while Little Master earned half his final score over the opening and closing 3 holes on Quarry and beat a worthy (nosey) contender for the Quarry NTP, but the jet lag slowed him down coming home on Lake.
Steve and Walks sometimes brought the house down and other times the local flora. In a hit-and-miss effort, Stevie savaged the par 3s (3 pars and a birdie) and mangled the par 5's (only 4 points and 2 wipes) while Phantom monstered those drives but could only manage 1 par. Dalbs was the last of the 30-pointers thanks to a straighter hitting, straighter putting effort on Lake (21 points) after a couldn't-do-much-right on Quarry (10 points). Ronzo, Jacko and Scobes were on struggle street but Ronnie did (almost) keep up the Chalk's love of the par 3's, going par,par,par,wipe. Scobes had the cart in overdrive early (10 points over the first 4 holes) but then the wheels fell off, while Jacko seemed to be building momentum going into Lake. And then the wheels fell off (they shared the same cart), managing only 2 points over the first 5 holes (ouch!!). But, then again, it's the fun of competing that counts (so they say). Results:
Tuesday, January
19, 2016 A cool, crisp morning greeted Round 2 of the Golden Putter and it was mostly a contest between "Chips" and Mr Consistent – our third low scoring putter, Steve, unable to capitalise on his great start. The Workers Party and Jacko fired the first pretty decent salvos and an interesting morning was underway. The Golden Putter leader, Squancey, started modestly, teeing up on his favourite par 3 12th only 2 over. Drove into the usual tree, dropped out near the usual spot and was expecting the usual pitch-in for par – but finished with a double! It was not a good sign. Continued in relatively modest vein today but did enough to win his first coveted Golden Putter title. CONGRATULATIONS Squancey. There's obviously no rhyme or reason to this golfing gig. To prove the point, Dalbs staggered off in sloppy fashion duffing. pulling and slicing to be 8 over as he strode to the 13th tee – an unlucky number for some. But it started some less wayward (though still wayward) fairway efforts helped by, of all things, his dubious short game. With a closing stretch of "go figure" chip-and-putt's and 2 putts from off the green, the last 6 holes were covered in only 3-over and included 5 consecutive 1-putts for an unlikely round win and Golden Putter challenge. Jacko, the club's low handicapper (come on Steve!), continued his love affair with the par 3s and got 2 others in a net par round. Proudly confessed to the only Snake of the day without which his round would've been even more creditable. Walks threatens to bring the house down. Smacked 2 fine opening pars and a bogey then uttered those fateful words "I have trouble keeping it up". I assumed he was talking about golf. True to his word the next six included 2 doubles, a triple and a quadruple (on a par 3!). He was still good enough to belt his 4th consecutive Long Drive and to grab third – but only after his first count, which had him in second on countback, was based on a "number of putts" countback which wily Jacko subsequently exposed.
Results:
Tuesday, January
12, 2016 A cool, still morning heralded Round 1 of the Golden Putter and a new innovation – Snakes: a 50c fine for every three putt. Steve was welcomed back into the fray after a brief absence, unaware of the furore he would step into post-match. But his mind was firmly set on today's challenge – Match Play against his more senior opponent. After the mandatory give-way to the 1st tee veterans, our first group teed off in a flurry of bush-bound drives.
Squancey moved South to his new home for one reason – a brand new plush green front lawn to practice chipping on. He'd previously shown his credentials (and two great chip-ins) on successive weeks on the 12th and that practice has paid big divis, chipping in TWICE today, one for a birdie on the par 4 8th and, on all days, Golden Putter. A fine 44 off the stick and (surprise, surprise) the least putts and the boy had a memorable day! Scobes and Jacko were pinnacles of consistency, grossing 47 and 44 respectively with handicap differences treating Jacko harshly (so he told me). Walks was a real mixed bag, a slow start replaced by a strong finish, the short stick proving his downfall with 2 "snakes" and no 1-putts. Dalbs battled along until a "brain snap" producing an 11 on the par 4 4th and a tree-hopping quadruple on the 9th sent his score to stratospheric heights. Results:
Tuesday, January
5, 2016
A NEW YEAR – same cool, clear "perfect for golf" morning; different golfing look for some. Father Christmas had been kind to Jacko and Ronzo – spanking new buggies with more pockets than a dodgy watch seller; and someone with generously sized golf shoes . . . Match Play was alive and well, though we weren't sure whether the Iron Man was. Two titanic match-ups became one as Steve went missing. It couldn't have been the thought of going up against "Mr In-Form" – Steve had recently knocked an 86 off-the-stick at Busselton Golf Club!! Match Play. It was the Mumbai Metronome versus the Phantasmagorical Phantom in the first of the Semi Finals. Form coming in to the contest was unfinely tuned yet the Met exploded into action with a fine par to go 1-up from a Phantom lost in the nursery (already). The par 5 brought the house, and almost a few trees, down as Met crashed from limb to limb (about 5 in fact) to finally sink the putt with his 8th stroke . . . and still won the hole! Where was Phant? Mercifully he found his way out of the bush and settled to get it back to 1 down after 5 holes. Met exploded again (baked beans?) and grabbed impressive pars over the next two to be 3 up with two to go (I'm definitely changing my breakfast routine) though Phant got the last laugh at the 18th. Squancey is still having the flushes, running quite cold initially with one hot flush in between to be -2 after 4 holes. Thus ended the minuses as the ship steadied and the mainly warm run home (after a couple of angsty missed putts) was enough to win the countback and the day. It was crowded at the top as Scobes' Collier form persisted except for those bl__dy par 3's and that bl__dy 17th. Jacko was gung-ho over the first 5 holes, though some excellent scrambling was required at times. The wheels fell off on the home stretch, the gods of negative Par golf also catching up with the usual Mr Consistent. Ronzo and Dalbscouldn't be separated. One drove straight – one went bush; one flushed it – one flopped it; one putted too hard – one putted too Round results:
Tuesday, December
29, 2015 One can feel a HOT, SWEATY weather pattern developing for Visitors Day. Carts were the popular choice and, as it turned out, Squancey's son-in-law Jeremy Beswarick was also! Jeremy hails from Queensland and, before limited opportunities to play golf over the last three years took hold, was considering a career as a professional golfer. Got his handicap down to 3 so we were keen to see him in action. The Handicapper had also pulled a handicap surprise, the days of doubling our Hamersley numbers replaced with a more scientific method that left most at least a stroke shy of what they thought it would be. Jeremy certainly didn't disappoint despite playing with unfamiliar hired clubs, quickly shedding the "rust" and firing some classic drives and fairway irons. Naturally took a few holes to settle on Pines and get a feel for the greens before bagging a birdie on the 4th and closing with 3 pars and 23 points. A bit wayward at times on Lake but still made 5 pars, finishing the round with 44 points and perhaps the urge to play more when he returns home. Privileged to have played with a fine golfer!
Scobes was obviously on a mission. Though his opening and closing efforts on each nine belied the quality of his overall round, the bits in between were some of that vintage Scobes . . . and the putter was in tune with the day – somewhat hot. Finally returns to the winners circle – CONGRATULATIONS 'ol fella. Dalbs continues to show some latent form, though the short stick doesn't and Mr Consistent did enough to claim the third podium spot. Little Master had his issues but the plan was to get rid of them now before his Match Play challenge. Squancey wasn't overawed by Jeremy's antics, running hot on some holes but exploding on too many others while Walks, the only man man enough to take out the driver for fairway shots, had an indifferent second nine to scorch the NAGA title. Play of the Day played out on the Lake signature "over the lake" par 3 5th. Jeremy, Dalbs and Walks couldn't hit the dance floor but Squancey was straight at the pin pulling up short by a few metres. Having played out, the foursome watched as first Scobes then Tommy then Jacko thumped their shots onto the green challenging Squancey in an impressive display. We needed an arbiter and, just when you need him, he appears . . . Cool Hand Macca! And, as history will show, Squancey took the bow. Round results:
Tuesday, December
22, 2015 It's the time of goodwill to all men and goodwill hunting for six GBW'ers keen to snatch the coveted (chipped) Cup. Weather not a factor . . just as brilliant as ever. Defending and recuperating champion Macca was on site to cheer on the hopefuls but the first salvos didn't bode well. Jacko was a tad whacko along the first half dozen, collecting 2 pars mixed with 3 doubles – there was many a slip twixt practice routine and live shot. Then came that bl__dy 16th he loves so much. Fan-forced an iron onto front of green then lobbed in a long putt for his second birdie on the hole this season and 4 points! Came home with a rush for another 5 points, 9 in total for the last three holes, and took off his maiden Christmas Cup win. CONGRATULATIONS JACKO. Chalk 1 and Chalk 2 shared the podium, arriving by subtley different means. Ronzo has a set pattern – blitz the course for 6 holes (only 3 over for his best 6 today) then have some blow-outs (to protect the handicap?) – but you can't knock his tremendous run of form. Steve took 2 holes to shake off the effects of the Canadian Club, a pointless exercise until the first par 3. It was gung-ho from there, pummeling just 6 over for the remaining holes and shirt-fronting "the body" into fourth after Dalbs, who'd started off remarkably consistently for him, had a latter round wobbly and, for the second consecutive week, missed a short putt for further fame.
Round results:
Tuesday, December
15, 2015 The golfing gods aren't crazy . . . . just serving up the most delightful golfing weather imaginable. Not so sure about the greenkeeping gods who made an 11th hour closure of the Front 9 just as Ronzo was grappling with the scoring of Par Bisque (let alone Par). The cue was growing as the Back 9 GBW boys – all 5 of them – blasted off in impressive style. The Par Bisque concept always raises debates about how best to allocate handicap strokes to each hole. The GBW boys seemed to have cottoned on to the thinking man's basic technique – use up to 2 strokes to get a plus otherwise wipe the hole. Occasionally strokes may be allocated to square a hole but that would most likely occur at the tail end of a round depending on strokes left. Chris, Dalbs and Ronzo were playing some moreish golf and the stroke allocations weren't rocket science. Jacko went for it, having 6 pluses after 7 holes and no more strokes in the bank. Tried manfully to par any of the last two but just missed. Dalbs "sinned" at the 13th, taking one stroke for a "square" (doh!). As it turns out, various other scoring scenarios performed post-game would have produced the same result – it's just that the lad missed a relatively short putt at 18 to win the day! And Ronzo's form is still rocketing . . . oops . .. blasting along, his 5 over off-the-stick for his best 7 holes including birdie on the 14th, but a sad finish put paid. Walks and Squancey arrived at the same result, both on Par Bisque and Par Equivalent scores. Walks chose to mix up his good, bad and real bad holes but was still ahead (+1) after the 16th with 4 strokes still in the bank. A wayward 7 on the 17th called for desparate tactics and Phantom obliged, throwing the balance of his strokes (4) at it to notch a plus and a club record allocation for one hole! Squancey bookended his round starting and finishing with 2 wipes and only 4 over the card for the middle 5 holes. As todays NAGA exponent, he was overheard to say "Where's Scobes when you need him?".
Round results:
Tuesday, December
8, 2015 Another magic golfing morning ushered in the Presidents Trophy. And that hunched form on the practice green looked very familiar. True to the Presidents Trophy, the extra gratifying sight of himself regaled in Presidential finery was a season highlight. It put everyone on notice to act with dignity and decorum, a forlorn hope since no-one could be found that possessed those qualities.
The Pres got proceedings underway in that Big Easy style. Though it wasn't his best start, it heralded a satisfying round for someone absent for so long – throwing in a few "shakys" but scoring on every hole (par on both par 3's) with some accurate approachs and slotting those medium length putts most of us struggle with. Wouldn't it? "And then along came Ron, tall swingin' Ron, The defending champion Jacko was thereabouts but couldn't keep a lid on those doubles (3) though his love affair with the par 3 16th continues. Walks had a great opportunity at the title, being only 5 shots over for his best 7 holes! A quadruple and triple put too big a dent in an otherwise cracking round and cost him in a side stoush with Squancey. Could someone please explain to Scobes that we don't have a season prize for the most NAGAs. He whacked into trees where trees weren't supposed to be and generally created mayhem apart from some solid drives and a few drilled putts. The club's short game coach (credentials confirmed after a great second today) needs to take him in hand (so to speak).
Round results:
Tuesday, December
1, 2015 Loving the weather – a repeat of last week and another Match Play to end Round 1 matchups. Little Master in; Iron Man away mixing it with the Mounties. Pink balls were all the rage in Adelaide prompting another pink ball to make its debut today on the 10th, and in another type of test . . . Match Play.
MATCHPLAY – Squancey vs Little "Pinky" Master Master of the day, Ronzo, was going gangbusters until mid-round. Mr In-Form was only 6 shots over on his best 7 holes, the 13th and 14th proving crow-call country and played in 5 over. But that new found smile flourished after just nipping 'Pinky' on countback with Mr Variable, the fighting Phantom, 1 shot behind. If Walks plays a consistent round, it could get scary, having hit 4 pars today offset by 2 doubles and 2 triples. Jacko was sort of his old self (2 pars) but then again not (4 doubles) but when you play to handicap, who's counting? Dalbs lacks confidence (and a modicum of ability) but still managed a birdie and 2 pars mixed with doubles, triples and a quadruple. Scobes had "one of those days", pars the furthest thing from his mind but did Round results:
Tuesday, November
24, 2015 A cool overcast morning just perfect for a morning stroll and a Match Play. An almost full book, only the Little Master away psyching up at the Mumbai Medium Retreat for his pending match play against the in-form Squancey.
MATCHPLAY – Master Blaster vs The Snout . . . Squancey's hot form continues. You just know it's going to be a good day when, after a modest start, your drive at the par 3 12th Little bounces off a tree and the chip shot from around 100m drops in the hole for a neat eagle and 5 points! After following with a double bogey from all the excitement, he settled into a nice rhythm that saw him hit 43 off the stick and consecutive home wins. Hot on his heels was the Phantom with his best round this season, rattling off 2 pars and 6 bogeys for a 44 off the stick and bemoaning a couple of missed less-than-two-metre-putts. That mild-mannered Mr Consistent, fresh from his Binningup triumph, just plugged along, content to misfire a few shots and leave some putts short but still put 7 net pars together. Scobey looked ominously NAGA bound as he zig-zagged to an opening -3. A severe tongue-lashing (by himself) later and some of that 'ol Scobes magic appeared for a time but was lost again a bit toward the end. Steve was out to get back to a single figure handicap, cruising out with two net pars. It's just that the wheels fell off at the often 'tricky' 13th (-3) and 17th (-3) holes. Be sure to watch his determined approach next week!
Non-golfing highlight of the morning was a guest appearance by "lefty". Macca looked majestic with his arm out of the sling and buoyed by a very good prognosis from his shoulder specialist. Great stuff birthday boy! Round results:
Tuesday, November
10, 2015 As Walks your cub reporter reports . . .Six starters on another perfect morning, only Dalbs and Tom were missing. MATCHPLAY – Punter Scobes vs Wiley Walker As far as the Par competition went, Squancey was the form player. He won the day with a +2 score including 2 pars and 3 bogeys for a net 34 and something to smile about after a lean run earlier in the season. Second place went to Jacko with a score of +1 giving him a 50:50 rating – 4 podiums in 8 games. After that the scores were in the negatives with Walks, the Match Play hero, coming third with a score of -2, followed by Steve on -3, Ron on -5 and Scobes on -7. Scobes was heading for record breaking territory when, after 8 holes, his score was -8 but then he found some form and got a classy par on the 18th. Hopefully that par will be the start of his return to good form.
Round results:
Tuesday, November
3, 2015 As Walks the galloping golfer reports . . . Only 4 starters on this Melbourne Cup day. Scratchings were Ron (Island fever), Dalbs (Beggars back), Scobes (Punters plague) and Tom (Jet lag). And the Melbourne Cup wasn't the only big event . . . two stallions were locked in a matchplay sprint to the line. MATCHPLAY – Young Allardice vs Jaunty Jacko As far as the stroke competition went, Steve and Jacko came first and second respectively each with net 36's. The other competitors were Squancey and Walks. Squancey started with an 8 on the par 4 10th but then settled down and was pretty consistent, finishing third. Walks took out the NAGA with a couple of nightmare holes where he got in bush and could not get out (did he really score a 9 and a 12?). Obviously he was out to improve his handicap for Binningup. Round results:
Tuesday, October
27, 2015 A fine and cool Spring morning for the running of the 15th Wembley Spring Classic. BIG thank you to Macca for winning one-handed against the infamous Wembley booking system. The backdrop was big construction works now underway to replace the now demolished clubhouse with promises of a "Fine bistro" and "Plenty of locker room". The new digs should be up in time for the 2016 Spring Classic.
Team Tom (named after the three-time winner and defending champion) took the early berth and immediately took to the bush. The Little Master didn't quite seem his composed self as drives went right and left and short (1 ladies violation) and irons went right and left and some putts went short or long. The difficulty was finding something in-between but there were still plenty of smiles. Steve, with his new 9 handicap ( "I want to get down to 8"), ripped and snap-hooked his first three tee-off attempts into BIG trouble and was contemplating how to notch up a score. After some hard talk and face slapping (from his partners) a semblance of that power game started to emerge as he managed to better retrieve his drives from the bush and get some consistency going until the 9th . . . his second shot slamming into that starkly dead tree and rebounding back the same distance. It almost seemed a metaphor for his round. Now to start getting back to that handicap goal! Dalbs has been nurturing a sore back (and sore ego), Just puttered along swinging slowly and accumulating points. A badly duffed second shot on the 272m par 4 15th after a 200 m drive ended in a wipe and any chance of challenging. But a good coffee made up for it. Turns out the A-Team were to dominate the day. Scobes opened at his scintillating best caressing beautifully crafted approach shots from over 100m out (modestly claiming "Just choked down on a 4-iron and put it by the pin") on each of the first two holes to go par/birdie and 7 points. Had a couple of hiccups but the rest of his play was breathtaking with 4 eye-catching pars and 1 sensational birdie played with a nonchalant ease, charismatic confidence and an unequalled brilliance at sinking putts within 2 metres of the hole. Jacko was unfazed by this star act, methodically accumulating either 2 or 3 points in a classic display of why he fits the Mr Consistent tag. After wiping the first on his warm-up hole, Walks really got into gear with some thunderous blows and straight putts amassing 15 points over the next 6 holes. Couldn't maintain his rage on the 17th but got par (and 4 points) on the closer. What could've been! Squancey has been in the "up-and-down" zone recently and brought that form to Wembley. Two great pars (4 points each) helped his cause but mixed it up with some wayward holes. Watch out when this seasoned veteran finds his consistency (somewhere in the great outdoors).
Tuesday, October
20, 2015 A somewhat cool and uneventful start to the round, the only notable (not able?) absentee being Scobes – and that after making representations to the Captain to be able to tee off first – though he almost made an appearance albeit as a slightly shorter but not greyer buggy puller. Steve set the tone with a thumping drive and the weather was ripe for some good scores. The trend was set early in the A-team as Dalbs and Steve racked up pars (and 3 points) on the first while Squancey's radar was a bit off as he scrambled a point. After Dalbs chipped in for par (and 4 points) on the second, his partners considered him a bit off. "He's on a 14 handicap?" they cried (tears) as 6 shots on each of three par 4's still raked in 2 points per hole. "Oh What a Feeling" to at least keep the ball mainly on the fairway for a change. Steve was a tad more wayward off the tee but his game overall was characterised by great ball striking and some consistent near-miss putts from just off the green. How's 42 off-the-stick for a fine effort – but he could still only grab a third! Which brought a smile to the Handicapper, lopping 2 strokes off Dalbs (ugh) and sending Steve into single figures, a feat last achieved by Jacko in February. Great stuff Stevie! Meanwhile Squancey was running hot-and-cold as, apart from some drives heading bush, fairway shots going bush and putts falling consistently short, he was otherwise doing OK! Did manage a great par on the most difficult 18th to bring him back next week.
Tom "Terrific" lived up to his latest label with that metronome swing producing almost faultless drives and putts as he caressed his way along. Like Dalbs, struck trouble on the 17th, chipping delicately onto the green only to watch it slowly and painstakingly roll off. A consistent round that included 3 pars and a last hole "win" over his card-scoring adversary – Ronzo. Speaking of the great man, he was putting in a blistering round – only four shots over par and 17 points on the first 6 holes!! Did a wheel then fall off his buggy? Managed only 1 point over the next two holes and turned at the last tied with Tom. Then . . . AAAAAGGGGHHHH as his second shot flew into bush and "went to God". At least he finished better than par in points as did Walks who went in stits and farts with bogeys on 6 holes interspersed with doubles and a triple in that unflappable style. Jacko couldn't take a putting trick, three putting the first 4 greens and 7 greens all up (missing by "that much") and just avoiding the NAGA by "that much", but not before recording the season first 'birdie' by chipping in on the par 3 16th!
Tuesday, October
13, 2015 Ronzo's 300th The Great Man played his 300th game at Seaview last week. He was presented with his 300th game certificate today preceeded by a voluminous list of golfing and social achievements. It was pointed out that probably his biggest disappointment was not yet winning the Mornington Masters. As Scobes noted, no one in the group assembled had won it either!!
Ronzo has made a fantastic contribution to our great club, both on the course and, just as impressively, in the amazing social advantages his enthusiasm and furtively creative mind has produced. CONGRATULATIONS RONZO!! A still cool morning greeted a willing six players for that highly intellectual (that's me out) and cunningly strategic game – Par Bisque. Stand-in Treasurer 'Jackpot' Jacko paid the bill and the Master Blaster was FINALLY presented with his 300 game certificate. As the round progressed, it steadily got mistier as did the eyes as a few opportunities went begging and a club record was set. The lead group produced a mixed bag. Today's winner really got excited off the tee, belting some classic Master Blaster drives but, thankfully, not on the 18th. Ran hot-and-cold for 4 holes (+ - + -) then used all the strokes he'd saved up to rattle home with 4 +'s to clinch his maiden win . . . and not lose a handicap stroke! Jacko and the Little Master were having a scratchy round, mainly of the head trying to figure out why their games were a bit off. Now, Jacko's not one to often use more than two strokes a hole, but as the double-bogeys persisted, I can definitely say that I saw two instances where 3 strokes were used for the '+' (honest). Little Master's round almost mirrored Jacko's as he, too, reached for the 3 pointers at the back end to stay afloat. Neither recorded a squared hole – it was do or die.
The second trio had a tale to tell. After an ignominious start – three double bogeys – all were looking to the par 5, 2nd to make up. Dalbs followed Scobes into the rough, confirmed he was hitting the right ball and . . wham . . Scobes hit a long gentle fade down the middle followed by a Dalbs duff and the sudden realisation that each had hit the others ball. Walks meanwhile took advantage of a monster drive and went bogey for '+' just to rub it in. Then the worm turned, the par 3, 3rd seeing Walks demolish a few branches, declare he'd found his ball, mishit it further into the rough then find his actual ball on the way to retrieve the mishit ball. It was a club record . . . three "Hit the Wrong Ball" decisions in the one round! Scobes got angry and hit his straps. Apart from skilfully manoeuvring around a few trees, he generally stayed on track and sank some great "metre or more" putts to knock out 4 pars, 5 "+'s" and have two strokes left which he plans to use next Par Bisque! Dalbs couldn't get off Round results:
Tuesday, October
6, 2015 A weather-perfect morning as twitchy contenders for the Championship mingled nervously in the car park. But wait . . . what does Platinum plan? Could it be a secret ploy to gain an advantage, using the specialist advice from a caddy! T'was hard to know whether the plan would go or stop - he'd cleverly named her Amber. And so, on a hugely unheralded day for Ronzo the Remarkable – 300th game TODAY – the great man took the honour and we were off for the third running of the event. The Allardice boys were close to the beach but just hated the sand. Steve was off to a belter with par after Amber cleverly chose just the right clubs. His driving and putting was a treat – it was only when bunker-bound that he struck trouble and plenty of sand plenty of times to wipe two holes. Buoyed by Amber's karma, played the other 7 in only 4-over including a birdie and two pars and the most delightful 2nd-shot chip shot through trees to hit the pin at a par three. Ronzo was determined to make his 300th a winning round. With his never-say-never attitude, he steadily accumulated the points to have 15 with two holes to go. And then . . . . got caught in the never-never (that sand) on the last two holes for double/triple bogey and a count-back for second. Wedged firmly between the two, but in a separate group lurked the Little Master. That reliable metronome-like swing and some handy putts steadily accumulated the points, particularly at the count-back business end to just nudge out the 300-game man for second spot.
Best of the also-rans was Scobes the Scrounger who started slowly (5 points over 5 holes) and then – KAZAM – he awoke and knocked out 11 points over the last four, his team mates never realising he'd played that well!! Squancey and Walks appeared to be the umbilical brothers going almost stroke-for-stroke – some of them BIG drives, with Squancey the KING, putting his drive on the 16th under the "arch" sculpture on the beachfront!) and point-for-point to finish in a lowish-scoring tie. Cellar-dwellers for the day were the Jacko/Dalbs combo. Jacko couldn't get the rhythm right and the right line on the slowish greens. His teammates looked around in despair when he failed to appear at the 9th tee, finally spotting him on the 8th green still trying to sink the putt after at least 6 attempts! Dalbs either slashed balls behind trees or put himself in a good position only to murder the approach shots and fluff putts. The Championship now boasts three different champions – as it should be!
Round results:
Tuesday, September
29, 2015 The excitement was electric . . . veritably palpable! The first Bingle, Bongle, Bangle game in GBWGC history was to be played. The conceiver, originator, and protagonist for the introduction – R B Dalby esquire – was a no-show so there was some milling around among the seven players and one observer before the first ball was smote. It became clear throughout the contest that the “tight as a fish’s” competitors were somewhat overawed by the risk of a financial blow with BBB as well as a blow to their respective prides! Boiled lollies to chocolates star of the day was Squancy who had made the trip North this week to win with 46 off the stick for a net 34 after being the opening week NAGA. An observer noted that his strong finish of eight strokes over the last three holes enabled him to beat Walks into second place by just one stroke. The Phantom’s feature hole was the Tenth when, after a scrubby start he potted his 20 foot putt to shock his partners who had been quietly calculating their likely financial gains. Third in the trifecta was Sponsor Steve who was consistent, after a slow start in the first two holes, with a neat 49 off the stick which included three pars. Best of the also-rans was the new, improved Senior Allardice who almost showed signs of daintiness with his relaxed drives; Ronzo was just the one stroke behind his Junior. Next came the other Deep South golfer, C (Knee) Jackson, who is getting his touch back – he parred everything bar the Par 4 holes for a net 41. Another week at his ‘other’ club, the Point Walter Resort Course, should see him back on the podium. TAB favourite Scobes was beaten on a count back by Jacko. He had just one par and faltered over the last two holes. Watch for big improvement as he warms up deeper into the season. Tom was a surprise starter today, leaving the Office Headless to grace us with his presence. He had the highest net and gross score to take out the NAGA but he should, as has become customary, have warmed up by Binningup. Best BBB story: The historic Maiden Bingle, Bongle, Bangle event:
Round results:
Tuesday, September
22, 2015 There was a relatively small turnout for the first fixture of the new season. The usual smattering of GrahamlGraemes and Allardices plus Scobes and Jacko faced the starter. Macca accompanied group 1 as non-playing, pre-operative captain, while Squancey and Scobes assisted the still wounded Jacko in group 2. Tom was away somewhere cleaning up the mess after the leadership challenge last week (and probably plotting something similar in the GBWGC context) while Dalbs was away on an unexpected holiday. In the absence of the President (do we have one?), Ron made some comments about last year which were apparently sufficient to show that Walks should do the honours with first blow of the season. He belted a screamer off the 10th to get things under way and everyone else was relatively safely on their way except for Scobes who took some care in marking up a new Srixon 2 only to lose it in the vicinity of the nursery. Early season rust was in evidence with many a 3 putt in group 1 and many a duffed fairway iron/chip in group 2. Personal notes:
Round results:
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It was the fifth running of Walker's Windup and Walks was already wound up – Max was missing and the man was now in charge. But, as we know, nothing phases Walksy and, before you could say "Burnt sausages", he had Ronzo on the job massaging onions and sizzling sausages on the BBQ.
Perfect weather for golf punctuated by the chop-chop-chop of a coring machine scrubbing up the 10th tee. We waited for Ronzo to swap sandals for his snazzy golf shoes . . . and we waited . . . and waited. But he'd left the snazzies home and a precedent had been set. We've the picture to prove it. And with Bingle etc off the fixture, a "collective" voted for Stableford (Par never stood a chance) over Stroke. BUT . . . try to explain that to Jacko. Is that what put Mr Consistent slightly off his game today?
but that's golf. Well, let me say that Steve did have other things on his mind . . . like a new piece of machinery going onto thefactory floor. So he can be excused . . . this once.! But making it three NAGAs in a row next week won't be!
Today was the day Jaunty Jacko decided he only needed to bogey each hole and he'd play to handicap. Stuffed up that plan by notching 2 pars and ended up the day's champion instead. Dalbs ran a bit cold early (a wipe) and late and a bit hot in the middle and actually hit some golf shots while Squancey appears to be getting his mojo back, a triple the only real blemish in a steady round. Scobes, fresh from a Scottish distillery sleepover, was obviously inflated by the experience. Witnesses, who ensured they were upwind at all times, say he had a windy on each tee, a record-setting achievement hopefully never to be repeated. His golfing efforts suffered somewhat as did those of Ronzo and Walks as the former, obviously unable to handle the Match Play pressure, succumbed to 3 wipes over the last four holes while the latter appeared determined to set a club record for the most NAGAs.
Results:
PAR! 
PAR! 
PAR! A breather and three bogies, then 
PAR! 
PAR! At least 5 chips were to within a metre or less of the pin, while his only real wayward drive on the 18th fetched a double bogey!! It was a fabulous net 31 to rocket him into second place. My pre-Championship tip, Walks, arrived too late. Hit some booming drives but lack of short stick form and two triples marred what was still a mighty fine 7 best holes of only 5 over.
Club Champion: RON ALLARDICE
The workers (and Scobes) teed up first and Ronzo had the honour, belting it into yonder tree. A confident, lilting Walks launched into his classic one-liners "There goes the Club Championship Ron". The challenge was set, Ron taking an opening 8(!) as these words rang heavily in his ears. But, unwittingly, Walks had stirred the sleeping giant. Ronzo's next drive hooked badly but a samaritan tree slung it back onto the fairway and up with the best of the drives and the club elder never looked back – only 5 shots over for the next 8 holes which included 2 pars and a birdie. His nearest rival, Dalbs, stuck to script, flailing aimlessly early to be 8 shots over for 4 holes before hoisting the wet sail and cruising home just 3 shots over. He's ruing those slow starts.
It must be said that the process for countbacks involving the sum of the last three holes less one-third of handicap can be mathematically challenging, but four of the best club brains wrestled with it to separate Walks from Steve for third spot. Walks was a happy man and the presentations went like clockwork. After most of the brains had left, Jacko had a light bulb moment "But we played Stableford today didn't we?". And so it came to pass that Steve got the lollies after the revised countback. Awesome!
Scobes and Squancey were separated only by handicap (and by being in different groups). The Mighty Mo couldn't buy a par, being troubled by a modicum of army golf that detoured around some timber, and a few near-miss putts. Ronzo couldn't buy a par nor any of the par 5's, going 6 over on those two. While Scobes' form remains very consistent, Ronzo is having a little handicap spurt.
Match Play Semi-Final. What a contest – Master Blaster versus the Master Blaster's apprentice in a battle of the punishing drives. With both on the same handicap, it was blow-for-blow but Steve's iron play and particularly his long putting proved crucial as he strung four "5's" together early and streaked to 3-up (with clothes on). Steve's drive on the par 3, 5th went wide left "Another 5 could be alive" said he as Ronzo ("Keep that up Steve") Allardice plonked his on the green and clawed one back (but Steve did get a 4). Ronzo hit one less bush shot on the next to claw back to 1 down but sent his drive on the par 3 flirting with the practice ground while ("goodo" said) Steve grabbed par from a long chip and accurate putt to go 2-up with 2 to play. Ron tried so hard to again hit the practice ground with his drive on the 8th (as did Steve) but the apprentice proved 1 shot better at recovering and holed the putt to take the match 3 and 1. It was entertaining stuff . . . almost as intriguing as the scoring that followed! 
the issuing of a 12 month playing ban on the Chalks – there’s too much of that around at the moment.
soft. It was a race for the NAGA but they were clearly out-gunned by a superior display by Walks.
Squancey has been a bit "off colour" recently and breathed a HUGE sigh of relief at the sight of Scobes trudging towards the 10th tee. Each had a slight glitch as they started out accumulating points over the first two! They then righted the ship for four holes, points hard to come by but not trees as Scobes found out, and it was neck and neck with Scobes out by a point. Both changed tack over the last three, trying to score points to avoid the NAGA and succeeding with 7 each including Squanceys par (for 4 pts) on the 18th but it was that previous1 point that kept Squancey "off colour".
confess to putting well for a half dozen holes and stretching his muscles (but not the truth) for another long drive win!
Round results:
Round results:
the tee, mishit the odd approach shot and dribbled a few putts but still managed to use his extensive handicap to disguise the effort and sneak onto the podium while Walks had mixed fortunes in the Chris/Tom vein but at least scored a couple of"squared" holes.
Twitcher story of the day:  ©
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